WEAVE OR KNOT DESIGNS ~ JKruis Oil Paintings

Instead of me writing today (since I did paint longer that usual) This link will bring you to an article I was asked to write a couple months ago that is now posted on the Craft for Health blog. Creating helps us to process a lot of things - much more than TV, radio or reading a book. They can certainly be valuable tools but are usually used more for escape. Embrace life - here and now - don't wait for whatever might come!!

This is a piece of slate shingling from my friends home in New Hampshire. It has been on the window sill reminding me of her for three years and I had just ran across a couple photos from that visit. When painting I started with what I remembered and will consider this the underpainting. I will go further! Very much our relationship too. We had a kinship and some untruths came in the middle and we didn't talk for a while. After realizing and facing the lies and fears that kept the friendship apart, we know it will never happen again. We dared to go further even though it hurt to do.

If you have a relationship that isn't what it used to be - ask that person why? What happened? Don't blame, just ask. Speak your feelings without condemning. There were multiple things in this friendship but one, she felt I was putting her down when I really was trying to treat her like royalty (she is a beautiful princess!) A great book - "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It really helped to see that we all process things so differently. It will help you relate to others with such new understanding!

Hold those relationships dear. Sometimes time and space is needed but don't let that continue if it's a relationship you really cherish. We are all misinterpreting others actions - it is part of communication. No two people will read this and think the exact same things. So clarify, forgive, move forward - dare to remember and love. LOVE WINS!

This morning I did say to myself that I do not want to paint this little thing today. I did it anyway. I was thinking I'd rather work on my self-portrait from class, but that would have been more than 20 minutes. Today I worked with two colors and white just playing with the mixes and layering. A color study of phthalo blue and burnt sienna. Both very intense and getting the feel of their range. I wish I could have made it to the color workshop the Holland Arts Council did recently but another time.

This has definitely been a place to play without worry of outcome. A canvas you usually don't dare. You take it too seriously. Part of life too...we don't dare to risk so we settle for comfy, cozy, OK or just plain bad. Sometimes there are great things in there but I think of a verse I keep in mind from NIV version..."to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine". Trusting God was also a giant risk and I played with it awhile...getting the feel of it. I didn't want to commit to something I didn't understand. I tip toed in trusting but when I finally risked a jump...amazed beyond measure. (I still don't understand it all and don't think anyone on earth can.)

Eph 3:20 MSG "God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." 

Haiti things are on my mind today. Working on a web redo, a meeting coming up and another friend down there right now. Many mountains, both literal and figurative. Everywhere there are mountains that we create for ourselves. At the end of this painting for some reason I even added in a few more in the distance. WHY?? Maybe I should name some of those mountains and concentrate some more prayer in those areas. I know several of them already and they are certainly on the list.

I have so many ideas for canvas but yet none of them seem to come out in these 20-30 minute paintings. I wonder why? I wonder a lot actully. My two paintings I'm working on are shocking me. It's like I have come to a new level of understanding with the paint and canvas. Or the Spirit is working to guide and I'm allowing it more freedom in my life and work. I know am amazed and how God is speaking lately. It's a good thing! I look forward to more.

I think morning painting will be the majority of my time by an easel for the next week. Off to paint some walls (which I do like to do) and then some more weaving. I seem to listen and hear more when weaving than painting and definitely know that is a priority right now. Seasons...in our weather, in our lives. A time to talk - a time to listen.

Jeremiah 29:12-14 MSG "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it."

Go with the flow OR make a statement?? A friend called yesterday and was talking about a couple she met that were like angels. Highly functioning autism. She couldn't figure out why they seemed so pure...so angelic...so wonderful. I suggested they are so very lucky they are not polluted with too much worldly thinking. They can concentrate on the best concepts and leave the junk behind. Love, joy, help, sharing, simplicity, instead of more, control, competition, ego and "stuff".

We get so caught up in the news, reviews, comparisons and climbing ladders to "something" that we forget who we are, what really makes us happy and so important....love...of self, of others, of our environment.

I hear a big grocery chain bought out a mall and movie studio. Will any of the buildings stand, will any of the character of the area stay the same? I would be surprised. History (my old stomping grounds) is being erased. It's about bigger, newer, competiton, MORE. Why?? There is a grocery store across the street and another on the other end of the same block. TOO MUCH. Why do we really need so much?? Motivated by what factors? Not love for the community or providing jobs but market - sales - profits - MORE. Do we really need more? That's one "flow" I don't want to go with...

Some mornings not a lot of words come with these paintings. I was using the paints that were on my palette already and just going with the flow. No direction, no preconceived ideas. I realize some artists and teachers say that isn't the way to approach but are we all supposed to do everything the same way? I love to take more classes and workshops to hear and see how someone else paints, plans, and creates. It helps me to develop ways I can improve or change my processes.

Very much like life too. I like to observe and listen to how others act - much more than hearing lots of verbal advice. When I see something it makes much more of an impression than just hearing it. Another reason I write...putting it on paper helps to cement it in my brain which somedays is already so full of other cement its hard to add more!!

Today I continue on to more painting (yesterday was HaitianArtisans.com web work). I need to add in a little research since I felt the Holy Spirit saying there was a key out there and I have to find it for the next part of this adventure. That is a tall order. Needle in a haystack?? But I'll search and let you know what comes up. Art will not be the only thing I do...but it will be a part of the process!

Life is always bringing a "FALL SEASON" no matter what month of the year. Days of clouds, despair, anger, confusion. Sometimes we focus so intently on that we don't see what possibilities lie ahead. This morning, painting more clouds, I didn't want to see that sky filled with darkness. I wanted to see possibility. Luckily I am the creator here and can remove and change things as I like. So I did! And my vision opened to seeing a clearing in the distance.

Today is a challenge to you. Recognize the things in your life that make your personal "FALL SEASON". Maybe its disappointments, unknowns, relationships, financials...write it down. Yes...empty the negative thoughts on paper. I suggest by hand. They have studies that show the brain to hand exercise is very stimulating instead of typing. Clean out the drawers of memory if its something from the past. Don't worry about spelling, sentences JUST WRITE!

When you finish...take that paper outside and burn it if you can OR tear it up in tiny pieces and flush it down! (Be responsible here...we don't want to plug or burn up a city!) Make it a family thing or a group of friends together. 

Once you do that, the most important part is refilling with GOOD things. Affirming thoughts that YOU ARE WORTH IT! You do have value to people, the planet and God. If you are surrounded by negative people...do what you can to be positive to them. Find some positive people to be around. Negativity is like the flu, it spreads and can kill. Joy is like laughter, when it spreads beautiful transformation can happen. The path is long and winding but one step at a time, the distance can be traveled. Doing it with positive thoughts and energy make the journey a joy...negativeness makes it a job.

We can get excited about NEW gifts, NEW toys, NEW hairstyles (if they turn out good) but we are not always excited about change in life. Hey...anything new...its change! Every moment you breathe is change. A big change yesterday was day light bulbs in the studio. WOW - a new outlook!

My art supply order came with a few new colors. Some in different brands to try out - oh so buttery! Here is some experimenting with a different brand of sap green, indian summer yellow that I've been playing with for a month and new transparent red oxide. Mixed with the green a wonderful rich brown.

Seems like an active lava flow :0) and sometimes that is our lives too. Mine is like that lately. Emotions, ideas, and energy bubbling underneath, ready to DO SOMETHING MORE!!! I guess this process is helping me to slow down and not waste that flow, but refocus on the most important "flow" I need for each day.

A couple days ago I was led to reading James MSG version. Three big points: have faith - listen and test what you hear and feel you should do - then act !  Actions do speak louder than words..

Do you ever say things like that?  "Let me just do this one last thing..." and you never do move on to the next item or you add three more things in there. You stay in the same place and miss opportunities. This makes me think of how often we also say things like when things are paid off, when I retire, when the kids are grown or gone or older. But whatever we were going to do WHEN those things were done...they never happen. WHY? Do you want to keep missing out on what's next?? A biggie to that is accepting change and unknowns. OH NO.... yeah, I very hard one for most of us. Change I don't mind, unknowns drive me crazy on some days. (Change used to but that one is much easier now.)

Part of the struggle of these paintings each day (and others) is knowing when to quit and not go back. I think of the Artist Way class and daily pages...write 3 pages...brain dump....even if all you write is "I have nothing to say today." JUST SHOW UP AT THE PAGE. The process is the work, not the outcome, not the picture, not the paragraph, and for me not the garden. Just Do It! (OK Nike) Just like my Guatemala ministry (Paradise Bound) friend Dan says, "Prayer doesn't equip you for the greater work, it is the greater work."

Dare to join me?? If you like the process or want to start a group on fb doing this and sharing about it, let me know! Thanks for the comments too!

I am trying so hard to just let these paintings be what they are in the 20 minutes or so that they happen. I'm so used to working further, over analyzing color, depth, subject and more. It is very difficult to just STOP and then post when it feels incomplete. Part of the perfectionist side I say I've left behind? Control? This is only day 5, what will day 30 be like?? I should have done.....lots of things!!

Just like our regular lives too. Thought patterns that have us feeling in the clouds, unsure, scared, weak and wondering what is ahead. Living in regret, doubt, fear.

This started first with the sunny rainbow and the clouds came to cover it. (That was my day yesterday too - very cloudy!) BUT that sun never really leaves. It is only hidden - waiting for you to search it out, waiting for your eyes to refocus or your faith to hang on to the memory of it being there....steady and strong. Reach out for it - find it - remember it an it will be there. Nature so reminds me of God and speaks too!

"Here's what I'm saying: 
   Ask and you'll get;
   Seek and you'll find;
   Knock and the door will open." Luke 11:9 MSG

No two trees look exactly alike. Even if shaped by human hands, underneath their structure is different. Why do we try so hard to look like others? Whether it's friends we admire, celebrities, teachers or more. Why do we find it so hard to embrace who we are right now? We are all uniquely made. The mold was broke and even identical twins do not have the same brain waves.

The leaves on the trees too are so very different. Some change to yellow, some to red. Brown comes in a variety of forms as they are decomposing. They at least don't try to emulate anything else. They just go with the flow. Sometimes hanging on - sometimes letting go. If the season is done, there is a new one around the corner!

Psalm 139:13-16 (MSG) Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother's womb.
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day.

I started with the yellow transitioning to green not knowing what it would become. I had blue at the top. Thought abstract today...OK. Ended up with waves covering the yellow and green then felt I was supposed to remove some paint to show the original underpainting. I like how it turned out and it spoke to me of the forces around us that have us putting on layers of protection or hiding but underneath is where we can show real beauty. The raw "us". Letting what is inside show through. Yes, that means self protection and hiding need to be removed. BUT that also means we can be more authentic, more transparent and honest. The waves may come from many directions but we don't have to be tossed to and fro....we can stand firm!

Check out the book of James. I'm using the Message version this past year. Definitely bringing some new insights as I dig deeper into me, my relationship with God and His purpose for my weird but wonderful life.